Grown Alone – Home is Where the Plant Is…

     If you’re like me (and my sincerest apologies if you are), then there have been times when you’ve looked over at your fridge and wished that it was a garden…

     Only me? Really? Wow, you’re all quite judgmental.

     But fret not! Grobo is here! (

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     Yes, you’re right, “Grobo” does sound like a random robot on Futurama that plays a gardener. But it’s also a stylish, seemingly low maintenance grow box for your home (and other people’s homes as well).

     Apparently, all you really need to do is add the water and nutrients to the reservoirs, spread some seed (calm down, pervert) in the base, and then, using the required app, you press start. A couple of weeks later, it’s time to harvest. Sensors (TINY MICROSCOPIC ROBOTS PROBABLY) monitor everything and adjust the watering schedule. It will also let you know when it’s ready to harvest (I hope its water doesn’t break). (

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     The Grobo can grow, bro, numerous types of plants and produce, but it was specifically designed (or at least inspired to exist) to help with the growing of medicinal marijuana in the home. Imagine being able to grow all your own medicines at home. I’m assuming Viagra resembles an eggplant.

     It appears to be as self-sufficient as possible. It also looks like a sci-fi movie and an IKEA cabinet had a baby. It’s a sleek, modern, aesthetically-pleasing looking cupboard. Once again, proof that hydroponics are the way of the future.

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     I can picture a world where every home has one (or more) self-regulating grow boxes for their food, herbs, plants, marijuana, and anything else that can be grown. Like the Grobo site says, home growing saves you money (throw away all your shopping bags!), and makes healthier food and plants because there’s no harsh chemicals (pesticides, and etc.) involved.

     There seem to be a couple of models available, depending exactly what and how much you’re growing. Also, the Grobo is completely self-contained, so there’s no need to vent anything (except your frustrations for not trying to grow your own plants earlier).

     According to the manufacturer, the Grobo should cost you just over $20 a month (that’s based on an estimate of $5.00 a month for energy costs). The other (suggested/recommended) cost is for their GroKit subscription, which is about $50.00 every 3 months (or around $17.00 a month for all you fucking math whizzes out there). The kit includes bottles and accessories that will help your growing to continue. It doesn’t seem to say if you need to supply your own seeds though, so keep that in mind just in case.

     It will cost you a handful of pennies to purchase the machine itself, but because it’s all a self-contained unit, it will probably save you money in the long run because you won’t have to buy each individual component. It will also save you space (a corner of a room, for example). And, it will save you time. You’ll save setup time because you won’t have to build your own grow box or hydroponic system, and you’ll save gardening time because the TINY MICROSCOPIC ROBOTS (Ahem, I mean, “sensors”) do it all for you.

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     The constant, rapid innovation of the hydroponic industry is fascinating. It’s continuously taking giant steps into the mainstream. The more people that embrace it and grow some (or all) their own food and plants, the better off our world will be.

     The only problem is that because the Grobo is such a cool looking device/cabinet, the rest of the furniture in your place will start getting jealous. So don’t forget to give your couch some love. Couches have feelings too.



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